Its day 30 of my second round of Whole30 and I must come clean! I cheated on my Whole30. There, I said it. PHEW! Now that that is out in the open, I feel a great burden lifted off of my shoulders. JK. Honestly, the burden of having cheated on round two wasn’t that heavy.
It wasn’t even just one time that I knowingly cheated, it was a few. No more than what I could count on one hand (maybe one and a half hands), but it definitely happened more than once. And to be honest, I am not upset about it. Part of me feels guilt for failing the Whole30, but a bigger part of me is totally over it. So what the heck happened? Why was I not able to follow through with round two?
Because I am a rebel.
If there is one thing I learned during this Whole30, it was that I am a rebel. I may have known this all along, but it’s freeing to finally put a category to my personality. If you know me personally, you might have a hard time seeing me as a rebel in the traditional sense of the word. But when I say I am a “rebel”, I am referring to Gretchen Ruben’s sense of the word ”rebel”.
Gretchen Ruben is the author of The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too). She also has other best sellers, a blog, a podcast and she even has created an app, all about habits and happiness.
In her newest book, The Four Tendencies, she proclaims that there four categories or tendencies that humans fall into: upholder, obliger, questioner, and rebel. These tendencies are innate and one cannot be swayed or altered in order to change their tendency.
Each tendency revolves around how people handle two things: inner expectations and outer expectations. Inner expectations meaning expectations one has for oneself, and outer expectations meaning expectations that others have for oneself.
Upholders readily uphold both inner and outer expectations. They take commitment seriously, whether they commit to a peer or themselves.
Obligers uphold outer expectations, but have a hard time meeting inner expectations. Keeping commitments with others is much easier than keeping a commitment to themselves.
Questioners will uphold both inner and outer expectations, but only if it seems to make sense to them.
Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations. They will simply not do something because someone tells them to do it, even if that someone is themselves.
So, yeah. I would say that the last tendency, the rebel tendency, describes me pretty accurately and during this Whole30, I proved it to be a true. Here’s how.
Unlike my first round of Whole30, I was in the limelight for round two. I publicly announced that I was doing a Whole30 on my social media outlets and professed my commitment to anyone who was willing to listen. I created an accountability Facebook group, where I gathered 50 plus people to join me on this October Whole30. The pressure was on, and the outer expectation to successfully complete a Whole30 was glaringly apparent.
I also had told myself that I was really going to do it this time, 100%, no cheating. My inner expectation was a hopeful one, but clearly I couldn’t uphold it as well as I had hoped.
My choices to cheat were not the cause of me intentionally rebelling, but now that I know I am a rebel, it all makes sense. Subconsciously, I rebelled against the expectations, both inner and outer, which consciously allowed me to make the decision to cheat.
Thoughts that ran through my head when decided whether I should cheat or not were very much rebel thoughts.
“I already know how my body reacts to certain foods, so it’s not a huge deal if I have this glass of wine.”
“My relationship with food is good. I know these grain free tortilla chips are SWYPO, but they are technically Whole30 compliant so, its fine.”
“I already eat really well, and I have really grasped the concept of food freedom, so in this special situation, I am going to say that this Grandma’s mistake bar is totally worth it. Besides, everyone has been so focused on me and what I am eating during my Whole30, so I am going to show them that I can have a little fun from time to time.”
See, I am a rebel.
And while I won’t let my rebel tendency take credit for my unsuccessful Whole30, it’s a comforting and sensible framework that definitely factored in. So next time I decide to do a challenge of some sort, I will have to reassess my approach.
Maybe, just maybe, I won’t shout it from the rooftops. I have a big mouth so that might be hard, but maybe I will keep it to myself, and somehow trick myself into completing the challenge. It’s going to be a learning curve, but now I am better equipped how to work with my rebel tendency.
If you want to know what tendency you are, take the quiz! I am almost through the book, which also goes more in-depth about each tendency and how it applies in personal relationships. I definitely recommend the book if you are interested in learning more about your tendency.